Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq they asked if I could drive the car
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
What time is it when you get home can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕 today is the night I can drive
What is your car's name?
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
I work at a tire shop.
I'm pretty tired.
