Automobile jokes
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
What is the difference between a human being in the car?
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
What is your car's name?
What is a car?
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
A car alarm went to the store.
Cashier: Hello.
Car Alarm: BMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAMAAHAMAMAMAMAAMHMMMMMMMMAMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAMMAMMMMMMMMMMM BBEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BWAAAAMAAA!
Cashier: That will be 10 Dollars, sir.
I work at a tire shop.
I'm pretty tired.
Why is the tire so tired?
Because it is tired out.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...