Automobile jokes

How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

What is the difference between a human being in the car?

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Maserati.

Maserati who?

Why don't you clean up this Maserati?

What is your car's name?

What is a car?

What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!

I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.

Why did the car fall asleep?

Because he was too tired.

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do you call a man who lost his car??

Carlos

What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?

I'D HIT THAT!

A car alarm went to the store.

Cashier: Hello.

Car Alarm: BMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAMAAHAMAMAMAMAAMHMMMMMMMMAMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAMMAMMMMMMMMMMM BBEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BWAAAAMAAA!

Cashier: That will be 10 Dollars, sir.

I work at a tire shop.

I'm pretty tired.

Why is the tire so tired?

Because it is tired out.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.

What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...

I went to a muffler party... it was exhausting!

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.