Are you a waterfall?
'Cause I'm falling for you.
My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.
Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?
Richard: No, I couldn't.
Richard's mom: Why?
Richard: Because he was cute.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
My name is Justin. I like boys. Hit me up?
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.
Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.
Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA
How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus.
why is the sun so attractive? because it is burning hot!
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
