Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
I have 206 bones, but when I see you, I have 207.
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.