Attraction jokes
I only trust people that like big butts.
Roses are red,
foxes are red,
I like your butt, let me touch it forever.
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
How to trick a gay man into having sex with a woman?
Take a dump on her vagina!
I have 206 bones. When I look at you, I have 207.
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Want to have sex?
Why do people think about handsome boys at night?
Because they're dreamy!
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
Interviewer: What are your strengths?
Interviewee: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: And your weaknesses?
Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
I have a secret crush on your momma.
Mpreg is hot af.
I love jacking off to mpreg.
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."