Ate jokes
Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"
The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."
Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?
A: They already ate the bat.
So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.
Why can’t Asian people play baseball?
Why?
'Cause they ate the bat!
Why are Chinese people bad at baseball?
Because they ate the bases.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat!
I ate all of your mommy's orphans.
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?
Answer: Because they already ate.
Q: What do you call brown mixed with yellow?
A: Someone who just ate beans.
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.