Ate jokes

I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?

There's ate of them.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate nine.

Why is 8 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 ate 9.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate six, five!

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.