Ate jokes

Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.

I ain’t a chicken, but I ate a duck before.

Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.

Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?

Sir Loin.

Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.

What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth? A "glad-he-ate-her".

I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.

Josh Dalton once ate his shoulder.

I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?

There's ate of them.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate nine.

Why is 8 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 ate 9.

Question: What do you call 8 apples?

Answer: The iPhone 8.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate six, five!

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.