Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
At Least Jokes
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because at least they can be wanted!
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.
What is the difference between a feminist and a knife?
A knife at least has a point.
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
What's the difference between me and an orphan?
At least my dad came back.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.
One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
