At least jokes

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.

White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."

Why do orphans play GTA?

Because at least they can be wanted!

Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.

Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?

At least Daniel has a mom.

What is the difference between a feminist and a knife?

A knife at least has a point.

Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.

Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.

I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

What's the difference between me and an orphan?

At least my dad came back.

What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?

At least the mistake was loved.

Dad: Alive.

Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).

Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.

Mother: Alive...

Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.

What did the kid say to the orphan?

"Well, at least I have parents!"

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?

They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.