Astronomy jokes
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
How do stars die?
Normally, an overdose.
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈
Yo mama so fat, when she sits down she dislocates Earth out of its orbit.
Memes
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
Yo hairline so ugly, it looks like a newfound constellation.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
Yo mama so fat, she orbits the sun!
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
Which planet would I consider dating?
I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.
I can't wait to see Uranus! 😂
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
Yo forehead so big, NASA needed it for the new planet, stupid!
What is big, round, and gassy? Uranus.