Astronomy jokes
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.
Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming, they found water on Mars!
Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
Yo hairline so ugly, it looks like a newfound constellation.
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
Why does Saturn have a ring?
Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.
Yo mama so fat, she orbits the sun!
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
Which planet would I consider dating?
I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.
I can't wait to see Uranus! 😂
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!