Ass jokes
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
What's the difference between Batman and Robin?
Batman can go to the store without robbin'.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
You blow a kiss up.
Your eyes were bright up your ass.
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
What do you call a gay T-Rex?
A tyranno-sore-ass!
Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.
The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
How does NASA fart?
They fart with their ass-teroids.
What do you call a green camel?
My parents left me.
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
Stop with dumb orphan jokes, you dumb ass people!!!!!!!!!!
They're not funny one bit, so stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.
Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?
My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.
You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.
Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.