Ass Jokes

me: hey have you seen my butt him: no have you seen where it is me: maybe here on your private part hehe him: dumps my head on the toilet, HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW PERVERT

Robber 1: *gets shot in ass* Robber 2: you have to shit in a bag for life lol Robber 1: what, the Tesco or Asda one?

Yo Mama so fat she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button

Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?

She lost her ass playing poker...

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little
bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the
Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids
on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am
trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire
US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another
target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of
which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my
fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that
shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we
speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across
the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better
prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the
pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead,
kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over
seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I
have access to the entire arsenal of the United States
Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your
miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If
only you could have known what unholy retribution your
little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you,
maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you
couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you
goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown
in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Addicted what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore? Damn whore your not that addicted when u spread your legs open for any man no wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass. Lol

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Your fat ass mom

who likes eating ass my lil pony

i swear everytime i walk past a guy they stare at my ass i always keep wondering why it hurts so much

Lmao another example of Amy being a petty little bitch

Comments on "CODM Gunslinger Part 1: Ultimate
Terminator"
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Highlighted comment
@amyrulesthepizzaaa 22 minutes ago
ABSOLUTE ASS 0000
1
ܡ
@VancityMerc319
. 1 month ago
Dang that turned out really blurry, sorry guys,
dunno what happened it was fine before..
P
View all 3 replies
7
.
E3
@beckwild343 • 2 days ago
you have a hidden talent but PLEASE keep that
shit hidden
100 100 100
目 1

Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...

#i stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦

Bully (😟) : Gina, why are you such a whore ???

Gina (😞) : Because they hit me on the ass!

Bully (😏): Yuh, that must be nice!

Gina (🙁): Hmmm....

Gina (😉): Wanna???

Bully (💕): 😍😍😍...sexy ass ever!

Bully 🖐🏻🍑

Gina😊

There's a white guys, black guy, and Santa clause. They get a hotel room. White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and say put down my money or ill cut off your weiner. He gets scared and jumps out the window. Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says put down my money or ill cut off you're weiner. He gets scared and jumps out the window. Santa clause goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, put down my money or ill cut off you're weiner. Santa clause looks at the ghost and says I'm the ghost of Christmas past you touch my dick ill kick your ass!!!

what did they poo say to the ass i left you

Oil and Ass Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 2 Bubble Butt Bonanza 2 Big Bubble-Butt Cheerleaders 2 Big Wet Butts 5 There Will Be Cum 9 Mandingo Rocks That Ass Big Butts Like It Big 2 Blowjob Ninjas 5 Keep It Right There 2 Big Wet Brazilian Asses! 6

my dad said i need to eat more i dont no why but his fat ass need to stop eating

How does NASA fart? - They fart with their ass teroids.

if best friend tell u that he gay for u what do u do tell well u tell hi oh nice gay ass

little johnny dad was drunk and told him to grow up and he sad stfu you need to be young you big ass bitch

So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?". The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass", it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy", it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster", it'll go faster, "harder", it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hostpital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.