Asian jokes
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
What has two wings and an arrow?
The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.
What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist fuck!
Why did the Asian parents have an Asian baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.
Aliens
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
What language do Asian Karen’s speak?
Demandarin.
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
What do you call a one-legged Asian?
Tie Won Shoo.
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.
What did Ahsan do?
Meow meow.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.