Ares jokes

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

When Chinese babies are born, they should put a sticker on their forehead saying "MADE FROM CHINA".

Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?

Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.

I didn't steal it. 🌚

What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."

So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"

RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.

Setting: Funeral Home

Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.

Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.

Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?

Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.

Customer: Okay?

Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.

By: MiniMemorials.com

Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.

And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

When we take a family photo, you are the background.

Why are Russians forced to drink grizzly bear piss in Russia?

Because vodka in Russia is weak.

HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.

Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

Neona: Gwen?

Gwen: Yes... what can I do for you?

Neona: You were so right! Mr. Smith has sexual problems and is a fool! I am so sorry that you were not a liar! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!

Gwen: You should have listened. Plus I'm over it!

Neona: Are you mad at me?

Gwen: Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen.

My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?

Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

You are so fat, you are fatter than the fattest.

Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:

Sum Ting Wong.

Wei Toh Low.

Ho Lee Fuk.

Ban Din Ouch.

Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭