Ares jokes
Are you adopted?
No.
I mean, who would want you?
Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
What's the difference between emos and 9/11?
The emos are still there, high up off the ground.
Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?
Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.
I didn't steal it. 🌚
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
People are arguing about stopping orphan jokes.
Me: m e h. i d o n t c a r e.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?
Why are emo kids the best jumpers?
Because they never fall down.
The convoy truckers are a joke.
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
Ms. Norsworthy's chompers are so big they killed a kid once.