Ares jokes
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
You are so dumb.
Why are Nepalese 🇳🇵 bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their 👑.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
Bully: "You are so stupid!"
Classmate: does nothing.
Bully: "Oi, I'm talking to you!"
Classmate: "Oh, you're talking to me? I thought you were talking to yourself."
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
To All The Naruto Fans:
Sharingan is red, Rasengans are blue, If you dare touch my daughter, I'll Chidori you!
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.