Ares jokes

Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*

Me: Uh, male?..

Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*

Me: You silly goose.

*Silence for like three seconds*

Me: Still male though-

Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.

You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"

Student: "I'm not going."

Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"

There's only one gender. Women are property.

Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?

Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.

How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?

Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.

A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."

Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.

What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?

People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.

In a white van.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.

Hey guys! Ello here with an update!

I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!

Koalas are awesome!

None of these jokes are funny.

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.

What are Africans' favorite game to play? Hungry hippos.

Orphans are stupid, am I right? Hehehehehehehehehehehe.

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?