Ares jokes
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
All my jokes are cries for help.
INCLUDING THIS ONE.
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
I think
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies.
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."
When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.