Ares jokes
What happens when two walls meet?
They are cornered.
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
What did the ankle say to the doorman?
You are a nonsense.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.
If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.
Goats are like mushrooms.
If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"
Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."
The player says, "Oh, good for you!"
So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them, and now it’s a sensitive subject.