Ares jokes
I know that my jokes are never punny but...
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
My dad asked, "Where are you going?"
Me: "Back to the orphanage."
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
This is supposed to be worst puns but most of them are not puns.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
Why is a tree brown?
If you are thinking about this, you are racist.
How many genders are there? One: Men! Women are property!
Do you like doors?
Yes, because you are adoorable.
When Chinese babies are born, they should put a sticker on their forehead saying "MADE FROM CHINA".
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."