Ares jokes
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. My dad is gone to...
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]
Emo people are like other emo people, they're emo. Laugh now or I'll cut your eyes out. Tee hee!
Emos are so predictable: sleep, eat, cut, repeat.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Why are emos like paper?
They cut easily.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."
When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
We are in a matrix, wake up.