Ares jokes
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Why are emos like paper?
They cut easily.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."
When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
We are in a matrix, wake up.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.