Ares jokes
I love telling jokes about orphans. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Tell their parents?
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they are all crying in a dark corner.
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?
Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?
They both went down on my dad.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.
It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.
Handicapped jokes are so cruel.
I can't stand them!
Why are handicap signs blue?
Because they're all Crips.
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost 2 towers.
Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?