Appearance jokes
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
Tell me a joke.
OK, your face.
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at Halloween.
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.
You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.