Appearance

Appearance jokes

Johnny Depp

101 views ·

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

Ugliness

75 views ·

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

Ugliness

4 views ·

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

Comeback

57 views ·

An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."

Fat

5 views ·

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!