Appearance jokes
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Yo momma's so ugly that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.