Appearance jokes
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.
Your hairline is like Mr. Clean's... nonexistent!
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.
Your mom's hot.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!
Yo mama's so fat, people think she only has one side!
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.
Your hairline is so ugly, your hair runs away from it.
Yo hairline so put back that you could put 10 big size ramen noodles there.
Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.
Your hairline is so big, it distracts me from your face.
Your hairline is so bad that it looks like you have Ironman's helmet on your head.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."