Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?
Son: A ugly girl.
Dad: Why not a pretty girl?
Son: A pretty one might run away.
Dad: So an ugly one might too.
Son: Yeah, but who cares?
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
So a girl says your so ugly to me and she says “I’m the prettiest girl” I say “yea a pretty girl for a ogre 👹”
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
Long hair Danny, the fanny.
Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?
Have a look at her face!
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
I used to have a girlfriend who would argue with me a lot for no reason. I look at her feet and say to her, "Here is £15, give yourself a foot pedicure, then come back to me. It clearly shows you have man feet. You are a woman; you should have woman feet. No wonder you boss me around too much as if you're the man of the house."
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
