Appearance jokes
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
Imagine if a ninja got a low taper fade.
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
Violets are blue, or green, so is your face so ugly, too.
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
What do Rapboat and Caseoh have in common?
They're both chubby.
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
You look good with anything, but nothing works too.
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!