Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?
Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello please divert to 5°East to avoid collision. Thank you." The commander starts answering: "No you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!" "Sorry sir You are the one who should divert to 5°East! Over! "Listen to me you asshole! We are the USS Washington and we have an entire fleet at our disposal and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!" After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again: "In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
What appears over Ash’s head when he gets an idea? A LightBulbasaur.
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption appear on April fools the just leve them there at the orphanage APRIL FOOLS!
A prisoner dug out of prison, he appeared in a playground, he said, "I'm free, I'm free." A kid said, "so what I'm four."
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.
Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.
The genie says "what ever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."
The first boy goes down the slide shouting "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.
The second boy goes down the slide and shouts "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.
The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!".
There's a white guys, black guy, and Santa clause. They get a hotel room. White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and say put down my money or ill cut off your weiner. He gets scared and jumps out the window. Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says put down my money or ill cut off you're weiner. He gets scared and jumps out the window. Santa clause goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, put down my money or ill cut off you're weiner. Santa clause looks at the ghost and says I'm the ghost of Christmas past you touch my dick ill kick your ass!!!
Yo mamma is so ugly, she made blind kids cry.
Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.
I was playing FIFA and out of nowhere the game glitched during a penalty shootout. Pionel Pessi appeared out of nowhere, took my pen and skied it. Thanks to him, I'm out of UCL and was sacked in Career Mode. Shame on you Pessi!😡😡😡😡
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.
