Answer jokes

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?

Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...

Why can’t an orphan go on the field trip?

Answer: They don’t have a parent’s signature.

What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?

Answer: You shoot it!

Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.

A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?

Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.

What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?

Answer: Your right elbow.

A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.

"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"

David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?

Answer: David.

You have to tell this to a friend:

There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10

Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?

Answer: Love.

A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.

The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"

Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"

Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"

Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

What type of bee can't fly...

Answer: Kobeee!

Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!

The other person: Who?

You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.

Why didn’t the toilet cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack!