ANS jokes
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
Yo mama so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology.
Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?
I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”
I made an orphan's website, but there was no homepage--because they don't have a home.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Wait, they don't have any.
If an orphan took a picture, what would you call it? A family photo.
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What do an orphan's parents and Nemo have in common?
They both can't be found.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
Why does an orphan have an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's parents?
One of the two actually came back.😂
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
If an orphan got hit, will they go tell their parents?
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.