ANS jokes
If Michael J. Fox was in the middle of an earthquake, would he know it?
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Hangman.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An im-pasta.
An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:
"UNKNOWN"
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...
What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?