ANS jokes
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.
Memes
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
I made a website for an orphanage. For some reason, it doesn't have a home page.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?
They don't have a dad to check the closet.
An apple a day keeps a doctor away... at least if you throw it hard enough.
Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.