What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
A teacher asks a boy in her class "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says "The one sucking it." The boy says "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one then he/she should stand up. After a minute a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope
Whats the only good thing about being an orphan? All snacks are family sized!
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America's Funniest Home Videos
What the difference between apples and orphans? An Apple gets picked
An orphan goes to a doctor. Doctor: Sorry I can't help you Orphan: But why? Doctor: I'm a family doctor
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Why is it so easy to bully an orphan. What are they gonna do tell there mum
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he's an alter boy
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school??
I don't know, I just fly the drone
what's the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked," Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are to sharp."
