ANS jokes

Orphan

    • Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.

    Boat

    • Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.

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    • Alberta

    • Once I saw a retard and an Alberta separatist having a conversation.

    Well, actually, it was just the Alberta separatist talking to himself.

  • 0
    • ANS memes

    Banana

    • The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"

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    • Space

    • An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."

    Are you getting the funnies?

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    • Asian

    • I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

    I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

    I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

  • 1

    • Yo Momma

    • Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!

  • 1