ANS jokes
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
What type of pizza do they serve on an airplane?
Plane pizza.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
What do you call gay men receiving anonymous blowjobs at the glory holes inside an adult bookstore?
Norwegian massage.
Why is Stephen Hawking an organ donor?
Because he saved 200 computers!
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me, so they can get adopted.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other one is just a watermelon.
Like this if you're an American.
What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?
Marriage.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?
Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t hit the home button.
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Technoblade: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces!! HAHAHA
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!