ANS jokes

An obese kid farts.

How to get rich:

Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.

Step 2: Knock out the orphan.

Step 3: Cut open the orphan.

Step 4: Well there [are] organs.

Step 5: Do it again.

And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.

No offense to anyone though. I don’t understand why everyone is bullying a person named Gwen?

My opinion is well “it’s just a regular person wanting to do jokes. You never know. It could be an adult or a kid.”

So leave her alone. Thank you. 😁

9/11 pilots are the best readers.

They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.

How many guns can an octopus hold?

9

What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?

An art attack!

Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!

Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!

Will: Yey!

Beverly: What should we bring him?

Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!

I have two things I wanna say:

1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.

2. wtf

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? "We are Family."

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? "Family Guy."

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? "Meet the Parents."

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?

I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.

What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?

An undercover pooper.

Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?

Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.

What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?

Black is their favorite color.

What animal has 5 legs?

A pitbull on a children's playground.

If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?

Why won't an atheist convert to the religion of Islam? Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be a Muslim according to the Arabic religion of Islam.

What do you call an army of autistic people?

Special forces!

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.