ANS jokes
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?
Candy is something everybody wants.
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Only one is wanted.
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie with Batman?
Two family reunions!
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.