ANS jokes

What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?

Filipino.

What does an orphan call a family photo?

A selfie.

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

What is an emo girl's favorite map in Halo?

Hang 'em high.

How do you cause an African parade?

You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!

If you kick an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents on you?

What's the difference between an apple and a black man?

Apples look better hanging on a tree.

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."

An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian? The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.

What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.

Me: "What are you doing??"

Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"

Me: "I don't know."

Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"

Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

Don't bully kids.

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.