ANS jokes
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
Why did the orphan have an empty bowl?
Because they already ate their supper.
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
Memes
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
Why can you bully an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.
Chuck Norris can kick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever had.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back.
What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."