ANS jokes
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?
A flower gets picked.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?
The tomato gets picked.
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.
Laugh now.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”
My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.
What's an orphan's selfie called?
A family portrait.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.