ANS jokes

What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?

America's Funniest Home Videos.

You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!

"Spider-Man: No Way Home," know why he’s an orphan now?

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.

"No Way Home" is just the life of an orphan.

Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?

Because the chip was family size.

What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?

Candy is something everybody wants.

Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."

Students: "oof"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Yeah, your parents."

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? The Parent Trap.

What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

Why can an orphan not have homework? They do not have a home.

My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭