ANS jokes
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
They call me an elevator because I let people down.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
"Full House."
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
I was raised as an only child.
Which really annoyed my twin sister.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
What do you call an orphan running home?
He couldn't find home.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Spider-Man: No Way Home.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
What shouldn't you ask an emo?
"Do a wrist reveal."
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!