ANS jokes

The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.

The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."

What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?

A different sized elephant.

Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.

I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.

I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.

Why is 8 scared of 7?

Because 7 8 9. If you think it doesn't make sense, then it is "7 ate 9."

What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?

One falls, while the other hangs.

An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"

The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."