ANS jokes
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."
"What is it?" she asked.
"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.
"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.
"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.
"And your final wish?" the genie asked.
"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger! You racist fuc-
Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?