What do you call an animal underground? A fossil.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
Yo mama so fat,
She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.
(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
