And jokes

Rape

What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?

...Rape.

Woman

What's the same with a controller and a woman?

They both work if you hit them.

Man

Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?

Because they got little dicks and big mouths.

Memes

Day

Sell PC.

Go to Croatia.

Try to fly to the US to meet female.

US won't let me in.

End up in Norway.

Female leaves me.

Female gets arrested by feds.

Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.

Just another day in the defib life.

Bullet

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

Woman

What's the difference between a plane and a woman?

At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.

Hunter

What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?

They both make terrible hunters.

Frog

What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?

A frog in a blender.

Barbie

Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?

A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"

Man

A man takes a boy into the woods.

Boy says:

"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."

The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"

Ass

What is it called when you whoop a donkey?

A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.

Poodle

"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.

"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"

Inmate

The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.

A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.

Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...

Maze

I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!

Loser

What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?

A girl actually dates the paper.

Difference

What is the difference between a tree 🌲 and a car 🚘?

A car can drive, and a tree 🌳 cannot drive.