And jokes
My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.
It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
Memes
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me: Then which one are you?
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.