And jokes
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
Whatâs the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Q) Whatâs the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, weâre both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
Memes
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
When you tell an Asian kid itâs raining cats and dogs and heâs like, âJust open your mouth and close your eyes!â
Why canât Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you donât get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
Whatâs the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.