And jokes
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
Did you hear about the baseball game between America and Ethiopia?
America - 8
Ethiopia - didn't.
Memes
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
Wanna hear two short jokes and one long one?
joke, joke, jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke.
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?
Yo, dad went to get milk and still hasn't came back 10 years later!
What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.
I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
What's the difference between a blind person and an orphan?
They both can't see their parents.