And jokes

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?

H: It's similar to shoes.

A: White Vans.

If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?

What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?

Batman returns.

What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.

What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?

Kermit in a car crash.

I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.

I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.

Now ain't that cool?

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme, but you can hear a hormone.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes time to put you under.

Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.

And they created The Green Party.

What's long and black?

The line at Popeyes.

Bunger got me like:

😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...