And jokes
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
Like if you listen to Kidd G.
Comment if you listen to Polo G.
Share if you listen to NBA Youngboy.
Do all if you listen to all of them and you all of them if Kobe Bryant is a legend.
Memes
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.