And jokes

EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!

Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.

How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?

4!

One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"

I like my girls like I like my wine.

12 years old and locked in my basement.

What is a threesome with 3 guys?

Gay sex and a witness.

What is similar between sex and fishing?

It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.

What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?

When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...

His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.

Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.

Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

So you're the one!

What's black, gold, and red all over?

Tupac in Vegas.

I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

What's long and not very hairy?

The conga line at the cancer department.