And jokes

Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.

A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."

What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?

Paul Walker’s Porsche.

Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.

Why do mermaids wear seashells?

They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.

What does a shark and a computer have in common?

They both have megabytes.

What goes 200 mph and is red?

Babies in a blender.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?

He's all right.

What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?

They both hang.

What is a government mandate?

When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.

What is the difference between the government and organized crime?

Only one of them is organized.

Why is prostitution illegal?

Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.

Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

What do boobs and toys have in common?

They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"