And jokes

Why is prostitution illegal?

Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.

What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?

Because it's a battlefield.

Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.

It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.

What's the same with shoes and slaves?

When they get loose, you tie them up.

I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents at first."

What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.

What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.

What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?

Some people don’t pick it.

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.

My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.

What game do zombies like to play?

Corpse and Robbers.

What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?

Neither of them respect boundaries.

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.