And jokes

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

My sis was funny but sad because I have a boy and she doesn't.

I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!

Hey Alya and JK Master, how are you guys doing? No one being an ass to you guys today, right? If so, I'll beat them up :)

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.

Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.

What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

Hey Gwen, reply to me and say if everything is alright.

Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!

Yo mama is so hairy that she brushed it like her hair and put pins on it.

xthegamer0 is 35. He grew up with GTA5 and is still playing it today.

What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?

I want to fuck them both.

Alya and freshfry wondering where the hell Alex is!

This girl called me cute, and I told her don’t call me that. She says why, I told her, “Bitch, call me the Hokage!”

"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

Girls being 14, look 18, act 21.

Boys 21, look 18 and act 14.

Chat date for Gwen and Tj.