And jokes

Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

Therapist: That's not so bad.

Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”

What's long, hard, and bloody?

The Boston Marathon.

All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!

Look at my name and you'll see.

Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!

If they’re short and called Rose and born in June, they’re emo.

Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

You're a copycat from Ballarat You smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.

Song by John Rizk

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

I got more followers than Charli, because I brought a bottle of filtered water and food through Africa.

What's the difference between a knife and me?

One has a point.

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

Earth is fun and worstbmaa.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.

Alya and freshfry.