And jokes

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

They both used to be straight.

What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?

Cot death.

The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.

Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

You look like your mom and your dad had a child.

"Demon Slayer" is yay, and who's your favorite in "Demon Slayer"?

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

"ADHD is brainless and autism is braindead."

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.

🎵 BEAVER BEAVER 🎵

LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA

I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.

Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.

Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.

"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."

How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.

What did President Ford say when he met Betty?

"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."

How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?

He spoke softly and carried a big stick.

I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?